Away from technology - Practical tips for parents

Creating a Safe Den at Home

Helping Your Child grow familiar with the inner feeling of peace and focus for a more balanced use of technology

Children today live in a whirlwind of stimulation — screens, school expectations, fast-moving images, and social pressures. Many find it difficult to slow down, tune in to themselves, or take pleasure in quiet, offline moments. Their attention is often pulled outward by rewards, notifications, and demands, rather than guided by curiosity or inner motivation.

As a child psychotherapist, I’ve seen time and time again how transformative it can be when children have a simple, safe, creative space where they can slow down, express themselves, and reset.

In a world shaped by constant digital stimulation, this kind of offline experience becomes even more important. Through creative activities, children learn to tap into the “flow state” — a deeply calming focus that screens rarely provide. They begin to enjoy sensory engagement, to recognise the difference between meaningful satisfaction and the quick dopamine rush followed by emptiness, and to become wiser to the pull of algorithms designed to keep their attention.

Just as importantly, they rediscover the pleasure of creating side-by-side with others — connecting without pressure, competition, or comparison. In these moments, children strengthen not only their creativity, but also their inner stability, confidence, and capacity for genuine connection.

The good news?You can create this space at home too. You can help your child build an inner ‘psychological’ den — a place of self-trust and imagination they can return to in moments of stress or uncertainty.

Below are gentle, practical ways to help your child build their own “safe den,” both physically and psychologically.

1. Start with a cosy physical nook

Children regulate through their senses. A den doesn’t need to be elaborate — just a corner that signals “slow down.”

Try:

• A small tent, canopy, or blanket fort

  
  

• Soft materials: cushions, throws, rugs

  
  

• Calming objects: a small lamp, fairy lights, shells, stones, feathers

  
  

• Art supplies in an easy basket (paper, crayons, air-dry clay)

  
  

The goal is containment without confinement — a place that feels like a gentle pause in the day.

2. Make it an offline zone

You don’t need strict rules; gentle boundaries work well.

You can say:“Let’s make this our place where screens rest, so we can hear ourselves better.”

Children often relax more easily when they know the space itself has a different rhythm from the rest of the house.

3. Introduce sensory activities that soothe the nervous system

Many children struggle to regulate because their bodies move too quickly. Sensory play slows things down.

In the den, you might include:

• Clay or playdough for grounding

  
  

• Watercolours for calming, repetitive strokes

  
  

• Natural materials (twigs, leaves, stones) to build with

  
  

• Simple weaving, threading, or beading activities

  
  

• A small box of “fidget” textures

  
  

These tactile experiences help a child shift from overwhelm into steadiness.

4. Invite creative expression (without focusing on skill)

Art isn’t about producing something “good.” It’s about giving shape to feelings that are too big, confusing, or wordless.

You can offer:

• “Draw your day so far.”

  
  

• “Make something that shows your mood.”

  
  

• “Build a little world or creature.”

  
  

This gives children symbolic ways to process frustration, sadness, excitement, or uncertainty.

5. Create a gentle rhythm: structure + freedom

Children feel safest when they know what to expect and have room for imagination.

You might say:“We spend ten minutes settling, then choose an activity, and then share anything you want before we tidy up.”

This mirrors the structure I use clinically: predictable, yet spacious.

6. Support emotional awareness through small reflections

Parents often worry that they need deep conversations. In truth, short, simple reflections have the biggest impact.

Try asking:

• “What feels nice in your body right now?”

  
  

• “Did anything surprise you today?”

  
  

• “What helped you feel calmer?”

  
  

These micro-moments build emotional literacy and confidence.

7. Make it a shared, pressure-free space

Some children open up more when adults are simply nearby.

Sit with them, do your own simple task (doodling, knitting, sorting buttons), and let connection happen sideways. Many children regulate beautifully through parallel play, especially those who feel pressured by direct attention.

8. Help them recognise their inner den

The deeper purpose of a home den is internal: children learn to find the feeling of calm, focus, and safety inside themselves.

You can support this by gently naming it:

“That peaceful feeling you had while painting — that’s your inner den. You can return to it when things feel busy.”

Over time, this becomes a psychological anchor they carry anywhere — school, friendships, screens, stress.

Final Thoughts

Creating a safe den at home doesn’t require time, artistic skills, or perfect calm. It just needs intention — a small commitment to offering your child a space where slowing down, expressing, and being themselves is welcomed.

These small rituals often lead to:

• Gentler use of technology

  
  

• Better emotional regulation

  
  

• More confidence and imagination

  
  

• Stronger connection with you

  
  

• A deeper sense of inner safety